“One day you will tell your story of how you’ve overcome what you went through and it will become apart of someone else’s survival guide.”
I read this quote one night I couldn’t sleep and it stuck with me. It gave me hope that one day all this pain I was/am going through would help someone else, and maybe make things easier in their journey. This year has been hard for me. Like, life-changing hard. I’ve had some guilt keeping my life updates a secret from you guys, because since my pregnancy I’ve shared literally everything with you. But this, i couldn’t bring myself to find the words to even describe what i was feeling and going through. To be honest, keeping things quiet is what I’ve needed to heal.
To my friends & family who have been with me every step of the way this year, I love you. I’m grateful for you. I appreciate you and your love so much for holding me up, especially when I couldn’t by myself. You all loved me hard and helped me with my daughter exactly how I needed and for that, I’m forever thankful.
I’m not going to get into the “juicy” details, and before you go and gossip about this, please remember that there is a little girl involved who matters the most and people who are real, with real feelings. A little girl who I do everything for, and will continue to always put first –
this is our life.
Sterling’s father, Ryan, and I have ended our relationship and have gone our separate ways. After 5 years together, an engagement, and a baby – to say this has been hard is an understatement. Again, I’m not going to go into details but we are doing our best at co parenting, and both agree that Sterling is number one and she will ALWAYS be number one. This has been a really hard season of life for us, but so rewarding at the same time.
I’m a single mom.
That sentence is something I was so scared of saying for the longest time. Isn’t it crazy how words can be so powerful? I was scared of what people would say, scared of what people would think, scared of saying it out loud and it being real. I never thought my life would look like this, but i know my future is bright. I know i will always be the best damn mother i can be, and continue to show her what true love is.
So there it is – my dirty laundry, my big secret. I’m a single mom, and I have been for awhile now. And it’s H A R D! Maybe you already knew, or already guessed, or noticed I stopped wearing my ring – but here it finally is, out loud. I’m sick of keeping it to myself because in order to fully heal, i have to be honest. I’m ready to live in my truth.